When we like someone, Man Likes An Older Woman, we all want to get them hooked, don’t we? We all want to make sure that it actually has the best possible chance of going somewhere. Well, there are three things we do that jeopardize that, that I wanted to highlight in this video. And I want to start by just making a distinction, a distinction between love and desire, connection and attraction.
Love isn’t the same as desire. What gets someone to have feelings of love for us is not the same as what makes someone want to take us home, what makes someone turned on by us. And if we want to keep someone’s attention in dating, desire is absolutely essential.
The three things that I’m going to talk about today, YourLoveMeet the mistakes we make, are not necessarily things that will hurt love, but they will have the potential to hurt desire. And if we hurt desire, we run the risk of losing someone’s energy. And when we feel like, oh, it fizzled out with someone, oh why did they lose steam? It’s not because of a lack of love. It’s because of a lack of desire. And by the way, what gets people to the point of love? Enough desire in the early stages to carry them through to a place of real deep connection and investment.
Man Likes An Older Woman
Mistake number one, showing that we are surprised someone is into us. If we say or do things that communicate to someone, “I just don’t know why someone like you would like someone like me. I’m surprised that you are into me. I’m surprised that you like me as much as you say you do. I am surprised you approached me.”, what we’re saying to someone is “someone with your value shouldn’t be into someone with my value.” And the danger of that is that we’re going to make someone feel like they got the raw end of the deal.
We all want to feel in life like we’re getting the best deal possible. Man Likes An Older Woman So, no one wants to go into a dating scenario feeling like they’re the one being shortchanged. But when we say to someone, “I’m surprised that you’re into me.”, it’s another way of saying to someone, “You’re the one getting shortchanged in this situation because I’m of lower value and you’re of higher value.” If we do that, we run the risk of killing desire before we’ve even started.
Mistake number two,
telling someone you’re afraid that they’re going to hurt you. If we continuously show, “I’m afraid that you’re going to change your mind about me. Afraid that you’re going to leave me. I’m afraid that you’re going to cheat on me. I’m worried you are just stringing me along.”, we are playing a kind of victim in this scenario. We are not saying that we have equal opportunity to hurt each other, that we’re both in a situation. Being in dating is to be in a situation where you can be hurt. There’s no getting around that. If you go on a date with someone and they don’t call you, we can feel that as a rejection. That’s vulnerability. You can’t be in dating without making yourself vulnerable, but that’s also true of the other person.
So, if we are acting like we are the only YourLoveMeet.Com one who’s in danger, it’s a way of communicating that, “You have all the power and I have none. And you must have all the power because you are the one with all the cards. You’re the one who is more valuable in the situation. I’m the one who has to be afraid that they’re going to get hurt.”
A Way of Communicating
Literally telling someone that they’re more valuable than us. We’re also making them feel a level of safety that breeds a kind of boredom. We’re saying to someone, “Hey, the dance you thought you were in, where we’re dancing together and we’re kind of feeling each other out and seeing where it goes and who knows, but let’s keep going. That dance is over. You’re in control. I’m the one who’s scared. I’m the one who could get hurt here. You’re totally safe. There’s nothing more for you to think about.”
Mistake number three,
talking about parts of yourself you don’t like. This could be as simple as talking about how you really don’t like your body. Now, when we do this, the first thing we’re doing is obviously drawing someone’s attention to the very thing that we don’t like. Now, you might say, “But that’s just honest. I don’t like it, and that’s just part of my vulnerability is saying that I don’t like it.” Well, we have to ask ourselves what’s the appropriate time and place for revealing that kind of insecurity?
If you were on your way in to watch a movie that you were really excited about, you’d been anticipating this movie, you were looking forward to it. And then right before the movie was about to start, a video played of the director saying, “Hey guys, so I hope you enjoy the movie. I just want to let you know, there’s a scene in the first 10 minutes, the one in the bar that I’m really not happy with the way that it turned out. Enjoy the movie. I’m just sorry about that scene. It just didn’t go the way we wanted.”
Imagine watching that movie now. Are you going to be able to enjoy the movie or is your mind just now going to be on the bar scene? “I mean, what’s this bar scene? Let me see, let me see if it’s as bad as the director says it is. Oh, I guess I see what he means. That is a kind of, that wasn’t a great scene. I guess I can see why he didn’t like it.” You’re literally looking for reasons not to like that thing.
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And by the way, even if that wasn’t the best scene in the movie, your whole attention is drawn to that scene and not the rest of the movie, that might be awesome and might make Man Likes An Older Woman that scene completely irrelevant in the context of the whole thing. You don’t get a chance, in other words, to now leave and just love that movie.
If someone says to you that they don’t like their nose, then they’re giving you their interpretation of their nose. I don’t like my nose, but they’re giving you their interpretation of it. You should be allowed to have your own interpretation of that thing.